My Wife's Perspective

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Right now I can't sleep because all I can think about is what's going on in the world as I lie comfortably in my bed. The parents of missing children, kids who have been sold into sex trafficking, the uproar in the middle east, the peace and protection of Israel, and of course my generation..... AHH! There's so much more.... Is anybody else alarmed? Or concerned? Or anguished? Does it hurt your heart to see little girls walking around half naked and it be accepted as normal? Or the news of another rape vicim? I Need to do something; I can't stay within the confines of my house any longer! The reality of hell has gripped me... Maybe not the full realty of hell after death. But the hell people are living in, here on Earth. It was only just a couple of months ago that I would watch the news and shake my head thinking, “What a lost cause. America..... She's so filthy, and hopeless. I hope she gets what she deserves!” I'd sit there passively accepting the fact that this world is going to get worse and worse until God confronted me.... He spoke to me through a devotional that said, “How hard you are on others, is how hard I will be on you.” It was speaking of not passing judgment on others, but forgiving them; and it was right there that I saw God's heart. His willingness to forgive. Even now, He is willing to Forgive!!! America, you are not a lost cause! God loves you and wants to save you! Not just you but the whole world. John 3:17, “God did not send his Son into the world to judge the world guilty, but to save the world through Him.” I am here to say today that there is no failure or sin that is greater than God's mercy and grace!!! Romans 5:20, “.....But where sin increased, grace increased all the more....”

I've never felt more compelled to jump into the harvest field. God knows that this has been a journey for me.... I've been eating lots of humble pie and surrender seems to be the word of the day... Everyday... I thought it was enough for me to support my husband as he shared the good news with the world and I stayed home raising our daughter... But I guess God has more in mind for me.
Quick rabbit trail: God has spoken to me about the importance of submitting to my husband's authority; my attitude, actions, and thoughts towards my husband are a clear reflection of my spiritual state with God. And the more I've allowed myself to follow Tobiah's leadership without resistance, the more clearly I feel I can hear Gods voice in my life. And with that, a softening and willingness of the heart to do whatever it is that God wants me to do.

So back to this journey: It came to the point where I thought it was enough for my husband and I to buy an RV so we could share the gospel; I'd travel behind him as He carries the cross. As we have set out to do this, I'd pray in my heart for God to give me something outside of being a mom and a wife; something of significance were I can help others and in turn help myself. Something Fulfilling. I told God that I am available for his purposes and His use.... It wasn't long after that prayer, that I began to feel God working and tugging in my heart again. When I thought leaving the comfort of my own home was enough, I realized very quickly that God wants everything!!! And even better, I want to give it to Him. He can have our house; EVERYTHING WE OWN! He can have our property, our RV, my precious daughter! He can have everything I hold dear to my heart. I trust Him! … And with that, I have found that my heart is beginning to fill up.There is no greater cause to live for then Jesus and building His Kingdom. By the Grace of God, I feel driven and empowered to fulfill the great commission.

I am praying today that God would raise up intercessors in this last hour
I am praying that the Grace of God that has reached me would also reach the lost and soften their hearts


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